I Want to Date You Online: SPECIAL UPDATE - ‘Kendall’ Chats (Part 1)
7:09 PM kendall: The Beast would never hurt anyone except for those wolves whose asses he beat.
me: ha, what Beast?
7:10 PM kendall: Nah, the one from Beauty and the Beast. My secret talent is that I know all of the songs by heart.
7:11 PM me: aah
haven’t seen that movie in a long time
kendall: It’s just so good. I cry every time.
I’m so pathetic, aren’t I?
i wouldn’t say that at all
i cry in films all the time
7:12 PM the Muppets made me cry
kendall: Oh thank God I’m not the only one.
I didn’t see it! I heard it was good though.
HP7.2 is my ultimate crying fest.
7:13 PM me: haven’t seen it yet
7:17 PM kendall: It’s just so good. I love me some Harry Potter.
Snape is just my type, you know?
7:32 PM me: a shady character?
7:33 PM he’s duplicitous, right?
turns on the good guys?
7:41 PM kendall: Have you ever read the books?
7:42 PM me: nope
didn’t seem like my thing
kendall: He’s such a misunderstood and wonderful guy.
It can’t not be your thing. They’re great stories.
me: not really into fantasy
kendall: Not well written, per se, but great stories themselves.
7:43 PM me: more of a sci-fi person
i grew up on Star Trek
kendall: There must be a scientific reasoning behind wands and brooms.
I only remember one real episode of Star Trek.
none at all
7:44 PM kendall: It’s the one with the salt monster dressed as the hot lady that Captain Kirk wants to fuck.
Excuse my French.
7:45 PM me: you can say fuck
i say fuck all the time
that would be ‘The Man Trap’
first aired episode of Star Trek in 1966
kendall: The first one? Damn.
7:46 PM I’m up on my shit.
kendall: You know, I first started saying fuck in sixth grade. That must have been pretty disconcerting for my parents. And brothers. And schoolteachers. And everyone.
7:47 PM Captain Kirk is so great mostly because he’s a nice Jewish boy.
7:48 PM me: ha
7:49 PM kendall: Ah, Jews. We’re such a great breed.
Except Ultra Orthodox ones. They be mean.
7:51 PM You be Jewish, right?
7:52 PM me: i am
on my mom’s side
7:53 PM kendall: Me too. But my father converted awhile back. That cray cray man.
WAIT. So you are both black and Jewish?
7:54 PM me: yes
kendall: No, no, I’m always so excited because it reminds me of both my favorite camp counselor and Drake.
7:56 PM me: hahaha
i forgot he’s Jewish
7:57 PM kendall: Are you Drake? Because I’m going to go ahead and assume that all dark skinned men of Semitic origins are Drake.
8:00 PM me: hahah
i look more like John Legend
8:01 PM kendall: Eh. I’m looking at side by side pictures. He’s more…soulful. You look more like you’re macking on David Letterman.
8:02 PM me: ha
8:04 PM kendall: One sexy picture… Good to show your future children.
Wait. You won’t have any, will you?
8:05 PM me: haha
i don’t know
that’s hard to say
i figured i’d be married by now
i’m one of the few men i know who actively wants to be married
8:06 PM but i’m trying to stop hoping
8:15 PM kendall: Nothing to be ashamed of. A man can dream. You’re going to have to start tolerating snuggling if you want to get married.
Do you know anything about spider bites?
9:14 am |
February 29 2012
I Want to Date You Online: Update #1 - ‘Rebecca’
It’s been a little under a week since I first solicited the female readership of Thought Catalog for an ‘internet girlfriend.’ In the days since, I have been contacted directly by around 20 women and been followed on Twitter by another 70 women. The conversations have ranged from discussions of past lovers to ‘Harry Potter.’ A woman was shocked to know that I had never read any of the books. She was shocked. I was shocked that she was shocked. We carried on without dwelling on the issue.
As the process of narrowing down the field to a single ‘internet girlfriend’ continues, I would like to share with you e-mail and chat transcripts from the various applicants. For the sake of protecting everyone’s privacy, I will give each woman an alias that corresponds to an ex-girlfriend of mine. The following e-mail transcript is from a young woman named ‘Rebecca.’
I learned a lot about myself from ‘Rebecca,’ specifically that I respond to e-mails quickly. I should learn some patience.
Wed, Feb 15, 2012 at 2:36 PM
come get me (or not)
The quieter you become, the more you can hear.
Wed, Feb 15, 2012 at 3:01 PM
You’re the first one to e-mail me. Everyone else is just following me on Twitter. Thanks for being so ‘direct.’
Wed, Feb 15, 2012 at 3:04 PM
I really liked the article, i must confess mainly cos of its timeliness. Yesterday i tweeted. ” internet boyfriend will simultaneously be my death and saviour”
Wed, Feb 15, 2012 at 3:13 PM
Could it be cyber-fate that we (not) meet?
Wed, Feb 15, 2012 at 3:14 PM
In all likelihood :)
Which part of the country are you in
Wed, Feb 15, 2012 at 3:25 PM
Los Angeles, California. What about you?
Wed, Feb 15, 2012 at 3:28 PM
Are you on fb, or only on twitter
Wed, Feb 15, 2012 at 3:29 PM
Also on Facebook.
Wed, Feb 15, 2012 at 3:29 PM
I was in CA for school at UCSC. but back in Singapore for now
Wed, Feb 15, 2012 at 3:30 PM
How did you like California?
Wed, Feb 15, 2012 at 3:35 PM
Loved it v much :) SF more than Santa Cruz tho, it was sweet to wake to deer on my balcony every morning but Im more a city girl
Wed, Feb 15, 2012 at 3:39 PM
Yeah, I definitely prefer urban environments. I live in a very busy part of town and I find that I am at peace despite the activity.
Wed, Feb 15, 2012 at 3:39 PM
Ok i added you
Wed, Feb 15, 2012 at 3:41 PM
Confirmed. Looks like we have a few ‘mutual friends.’
Wed, Feb 15, 2012 at 3:43 PM
What makes you happy
Wed, Feb 15, 2012 at 3:45 PM
That’s the hardest question to ask anyone. I’m not sure. Maybe ‘artistic recognition,’ but that’s fleeting.
Wed, Feb 15, 2012 at 3:48 PM
I really want to know. Its something i think about everyday. And i like to know what others think abt it
Wed, Feb 15, 2012 at 3:52 PM
I wish that other people made me happy the way I want them to. Maybe I’m unreasonable in my expectations, but I’ve been let down so often. I trust automatically and speak sincerely, but others do not. It causes me so much inner turmoil, so I feel like all I can hope for is to be respected by my peers. Of course, rejection exists in creative endeavors, as much if not more so than in relationships. I don’t know where to turn for ‘security.’ I suppose that’s why so many people submit to religious dogma. It offers solace and stability.
Wed, Feb 15, 2012 at 3:54 PM
I’ve been trying to turn inward. . Social interaction takes a lot out of me these days. My social skin feels raw and bloody. When was your last relationship. Can’t rem if you said that in the article
Wed, Feb 15, 2012 at 4:02 PM
My girlfriend dumped me via phone call before Christmas 2011, not that I celebrate the holiday or anything. I am especially sensitive because of that.
Wed, Feb 15, 2012 at 4:19 PM
my chest hurts..
Wed, Feb 15, 2012 at 4:22 PM
I know what that’s like.
Wed, Feb 15, 2012 at 4:26 PM
what kind of interaction are you expecting, or would you like, with all the girls [and boys?] who are writing back to you, or tweeting you now
Wed, Feb 15, 2012 at 4:27 PM
I don’t expect anything, to be honest. Expectation prevents you from experiencing anything real. Things just have to happen as they happen. Some of the interactions have been funny, some have been enlightening, some have just been weird. All of them have been worthwhile for their own reasons.
Wed, Feb 15, 2012 at 7:20 PM
have you been to asia, did/do you like it?
Wed, Feb 15, 2012 at 7:52 PM
I’ve never been. I’ve only been out of the country twice. Once was Canada. The other was Israel. I’d very much like to go to Asia one day.
Wed, Feb 15, 2012 at 8:02 PM
Write me if you’re around :) it’d be cyber fate
Wed, Feb 15, 2012 at 8:05 PM
If I was around, it would be real fate, which is scarier, but potentially better. Also, what are some things about Asia that you really appreciate? I’m curious.
Wed, Feb 15, 2012 at 8:30 PM
What a lovely question. . What i appreciate abt Asia.
In Singapore at least, i haven’t lived for very long in any other Asian country so i can’t speak for those.
People leave you alone. In the US it wore me out that people are always approaching you to sign things outside stores, for money or food on the street, and even the fake conversation at the check out counters.. I was wary of everyone cos i simply didn’t like my space being invaded and despise small talk . I know i prolly came off as arrogant or something.
This must make me sound like an anti social bitch >< What abt you. Do you think you’ll want to be based permanently in the US or have you thought of emigration
Wed, Feb 15, 2012 at 8:41 PM
That’s an excellent observation. Here, people really go out of their way to be friendly. I dread small talk as well, especially in elevators, in barber shops or the like. I’d much rather be alone with my thoughts than say things that don’t matter. It does sound ‘rude’ based on the American conception of manners, but it’s a valid way to live your life.
I would love to leave the United States. For quite some time, I’ve wanted to live in London. I find the thought of the grey skies and the cold and the omnipresent sense of history to be very pleasant. I could walk, have tea, read, and think in a place like that. Los Angeles, especially, is not a place for thinkers or introverts.
Wed, Feb 15, 2012 at 9:30 PM
What keeps you sane (in LA)?
Wed, Feb 15, 2012 at 9:33 PM
My particular neighborhood is very unique, very walkable. I have my routines, my favorite places to go, etc. Also, I have a view of the skyline of Downtown. I’m enchanted by tall buildings. It’s peaceful to stare at them during the evening.
Also, I have all my books and magazines and the internet. These things comfort me.
Wed, Feb 15, 2012 at 9:39 PM
Exquisite :) i like that a lot
Wed, Feb 15, 2012 at 10:06 PM
It’s nice. I relish the familiar, which keeps me from making any moves. I consider New York quite a bit, as that’s where the literary world exists, but I would be some alien creature amongst the rabble.
Wed, Feb 15, 2012 at 10:10 PM
I love the energy of new York . Also loved my time in CA. I donno where id want to live “forever”.. Singapore is comfortable but really tiny
Wed, Feb 15, 2012 at 10:12 PM
Forever is a daunting concept. Makes me nervous.
I’m afraid of the ocean because when you look at it from the beach, it goes on and on and on, seemingly without end. Infinite, huge and terrible.
Wed, Feb 15, 2012 at 10:14 PM
It is. . Daunting i mean. I like to think i will die young
Wed, Feb 15, 2012 at 10:15 PM
I assume I’ll live into my 50s and then have a heart attack like my father and grandfather.
Wed, Feb 15, 2012 at 10:16 PM
I want to die from an aneurysm Or at least its the method I’ve thought abt the most
Wed, Feb 15, 2012 at 10:17 PM
Is that painless or painful? I don’t know.
Wed, Feb 15, 2012 at 10:18 PM
Figured painless? Or quick pain
Wed, Feb 15, 2012 at 10:20 PM
I guess quick pain wouldn’t be so bad. Like ‘ripping off a bandage.’
After this, our conversation came to a halt. We did not speak for a full day, which made me frightened. I thought I might have scared her away. A day later, I received a Facebook invite to Rebecca’s birthday party in Singapore. I left a comment on the event page saying my spirit would be attending.
She ‘liked’ my comment.
I think I ‘like’ her.
2:20 pm |
February 20 2012
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